Live Life With No Regrets

How often have you thought, "I wish I knew then what I know now?" So many of us have those times when we sit around, gazing into the recesses of our souls, scrutinizing our past in an effort to better understand where we are now. More often than not, this journey of reflection illuminates opportunities lost, and people left behind.

When you look back over your life, the odds say there are going to be at least a few things that you would have done differently back in the?

If only…

Most of us have a list of, "coulda, shoulda, woulda"… and we all know for certain from that list that our life would not be the same had we done things differently. What we don't know, is if we had made different decisions, exactly where we would be. Hindsight is always 20/20. Navigating through life is as much about looking forward as it is about looking back. The thing is, until time passes, you just don't know how things are going to unfold.

It's easy to look back and see where you may have made mistakes, where you may not have used the best judgment or considered all of the possible outcomes. After living through the consequences of your decisions, you have achieved something that can never be achieved any other way - experience. For good or ill, it is those choices and those experiences resulting from those choices that have shaped you and brought you to where you are now.

There's always tomorrow

Just because you can't go back and change the past doesn't mean that all opportunities are lost forever. In fact, it is quite the opposite. By accepting things as they are and understanding how they came to be, you are more likely to recognize or create even greater opportunity. And, chances are good, life has brought you to the place and circumstances in which you are supposed to be.

The choices you made, you made for a reason. Whether they seem right or wrong now really has no bearing, because they were apparently right for you at that moment in time, and the experiences that followed were necessary to your soul's development. You can beat yourself up and regret your path by indulging in "coulda, shoulda, woulda" fantasy or you can embrace your unmet desires and find a way to make them a reality.

There is more than one possible outcome for every decision we make. When we look back with regret, we tend to believe that our lives would be better if we had done things differently. It's possible, but it could also be that what we see as a better choice then, could have been a fatal mistake.

No regrets

The geek with the family may be a person you could never love, no matter how much they loved you. Not landing the job you thought was your perfect fit may have sent you down a path that may have caused you to excel much further in a slightly different career. Your European expedition changed the way you look at life - and the memories are something that will lift your spirits until you have one foot in the grave. You may not have your formal education now, but it is never too late. Colleges are everywhere, and now you know what your major really should be.

What you did or didn't do doesn't dictate what you can do or are capable of doing in the future, it only highlights how to recognize what will bring you fulfillment. So, forge ahead with anticipation! Some of your biggest mistakes are most likely your most valued blessings.

The Difference Between Women & Men

For centuries, the differences between men and women were socially defined and distorted through a lens of sexism in which men assumed superiority over women and maintained it through domination. As the goal of equality between men and women now grows closer we are also losing our awareness of important differences. In some circles of society, politically correct thinking is obliterating important discussion as well as our awareness of the similarities and differences between men and women. The vision of equality between the sexes has narrowed the possibilities for discovery of what truly exists within a man and within a woman. The world is less interesting when everything is same.

It is my position that men and women are equal but different. When I say equal, I mean that men and women have a right to equal opportunity and protection under the law. The fact that people in this country are assured these rights does not negate my observation that men and women are at least as different psychologically as they are physically.

None of us would argue the fact that men and women are physically different. The physical differences are rather obvious and most of these can be seen and easily measured. Weight, shape, size and anatomy are not political opinions but rather tangible and easily measured. The physical differences between men and women provide functional advantages and have survival value. Men usually have greater upper body strength, build muscle easily, have thicker skin, bruise less easily and have a lower threshold of awareness of injuries to their extremities. Men are essentially built for physical confrontation and the use of force. Their joints are well suited for throwing objects. A man’s skull is almost always thicker and stronger than a women’s. The stereotype that men are more "thick-headed" than women is not far fetched. A man’s "thick headedness", and other anatomical differences have been associated with a uniquely male attraction to high speed activities and reckless behavior that usually involve collisions with other males or automobiles. Men invented the game "chicken", not women. Men, and a number of other male species of animal seem to charge and crash into each other a great deal in their spare time.

Women on the other hand have four times as many brain cells (neurons) connecting the right and left side of their brain. This latter finding provides physical evidence that supports the observation that men rely easily and more heavily on their left brain to solve one problem one step at a time. Women have more efficient access to both sides of their brain and therefore greater use of their right brain. Women can focus on more than one problem at one time and frequently prefer to solve problems through multiple activities at a time. Nearly every parent has observed how young girls find the conversations of young boys "boring". Young boys express confusion and would rather play sports than participate actively in a conversation between 5 girls who are discussing as many as three subjects at once!

The psychological differences between man and women are less obvious. They can be difficult to describe. Yet these differences can profoundly influence how we form and maintain relationships that can range from work and friendships to marriage and parenting.

Recognizing, understanding, discussing as well as acting skillfully in light of the differences between men and women can be difficult. Our failure to recognize and appreciate these differences can become a life long source of disappointment, frustration, tension and eventually our downfall in a relationship. Not only can these differences destroy a promising relationship, but most people will grudgingly accept or learn to live with the consequences. Eventually they find some compromise or way to cope. Few people ever work past these difficulties. People tend to accept what they don’t understand when they feel powerless to change it.

Relationships between men and women are not impossible or necessarily difficult. Problsimply arise when we expect or assume the opposite sex should think, feel or act the way we do. It’s not that men and women live in completely different realities. Rather, our lack of knowledge and mutual experience gives rise to our difficulties.

Despite great strides in this country toward equality, modern society hasn’t made relationships between men and women any easier. Today’s society has taught us and has imposed on us the expectation that men and women should live together continuously, in communion, and in harmony. These expectations are not only unrealistic but ultimately they leave people feeling unloved, inadequate, cynical, apathetic or ashamed.

The challenge facing men and women is to become aware of their identities, to accept their differences, and to live their lives fully and as skillfully as possible. To do this we must first understand in what ways we are different. We must avoid trying to change others to suit our needs. The following illustrates some important differences between men and women. These differences are not absolute. They describe how men and women are in most situations most of the time....

Overtime..

Doing Overtime..


Forty hours a week isn't much time to accomplish your mound of endless tasks at work, making the need for overtime a reality for most. You head into the office early, you stay late, you check e-mail on weekends, and in many cases, you do it because it’s part of your job. But if putting in these extra hours isn’t helping you whittle down your to-do list or moving you in the direction of that raise or promotion, it may be time to reevaluate the situation.Before burning the midnight oil again, learn how to work overtime strategically by following our tips.

Work overtime on occasion

If you’re always the first to arrive and the last to leave each day, you may have set your own standard. Yes, your commitment to the organization is noticed, but now your extra hours are expected rather than appreciated. To work overtime strategically, your best approach is to show willingness to go the extra mile and put in the additional hours, but not to let this willingness to work overtime be anticipated or taken for granted. In the long-term, you will gain respect from your managers. Furthermore, you’ll likely get more recognition and rewards when you eagerly commit yourself to working overtime when there are deadlines and the chips are down.

Make sure your overtime is acknowledged

More often than not, you may be putting in the extra hours without anyone noticing. While it’s not a good idea to blatantly announce your daily arrival and departure times, you can work overtime strategically by ensuring that those around you take notice of your efforts. After all, part of your commitment to staying late is motivated by the desire for rewards, right? Discreet tactics, such as sending e-mails from your work late at night or on your days off, provide a time stamp and are noticed. Managers always tend to smile when one of their employees responds to an e-mail while on a personal day.

Track your overtime

Regardless of whether your overtime is sporadic or an everyday reality, you can work overtime strategically by keeping a detailed account of the extra hours you’ve put in. If you’re habitually working overtime, this log will help identify your level of productivity. Frequently, those who claim that they are swamped and don’t have a minute to spare get far less done than those who wonder if they’re bringing enough to the table. Work overtime strategically by taking stock of what additional tasks you are effectively completing during those extra hours. Additionally, having a detailed account of these hours helps your cause come review time; it’s easier to get credit for something you can back up with evidence.

Leverage your overtime

Now that you’re keeping records of your overtime, you need to put those hours to work for you. The basis of these hours makes a strong case for you come salary negotiation or vacation time. For instance, if you are denied a raise, you can easily say you’re working 20% more than you should be. Your longer hours should never be used in a threatening manner, but with the right documentation and approach, you should be able to use them as the basis for negotiation. In some ways, this means tooting your own horn; if you’re putting in the hours and not bringing it up and not getting the rewards you deserve, you can only blame yourself for not speaking up.

Doin’ time

If putting in overtime hours is something you do on a regular basis, you’re defeating the purpose of these extra hours, both from a productivity and advancement standpoint. Work overtime strategically by monitoring your overtime efforts and using them to your advantage to effectively complete more work and derive some benefits.

p/s: The reason i came up with this post is because i HATE doing overtime especially when i am assigned with an urgent task/project when i have packed my things to go back home. Well, without much to say, i still have to stay late night to finish it anyway. It will be reflected in my yearly KPI, reporting, projects, assessments, bla bla...I HATE early of the month!! Reason being, my dateline to prepare MIS reporting for my doink Head of Retail Banking. Note: I will be spending 1week or less to prepare it but end of the day, the first page of the presentation has a special indication which states my Manager's name & NOT MINE. Real bugger's, don't you think so? You are spending days to complete the most crucial report for the Dept but your name won't be there at any pages of the reporting presentation. Haihs..No value for AM like me as the credit will still go to my Manager anyway...My situation is best decribed as "Lembu punya susu,sapi dapat nama" by my working cgues. My AIM is to become one of the Managers in 2-3years to come...!!!

Failure!!

Failure!

Just the word “failure” can send shivers down our spine. If you’re like me and many of my clients, you’re probably not a big fan of failing. However, if you think about some of your biggest failures in life, haven’t they taught you a great deal and been extremely valuable to your growth, your development, and even your happiness in hindsight?

Failure itself isn’t the real issue; it’s our relationship to and our fear of failure that causes us pain and frustration. Think of what your life, your relationships, and your career would be like if you were not afraid to fail? For most of us, this would make things very different.
Failure is essential …

No risk, no reward! Michael Jordan said, “I missed 100% of the shots that I didn’t take.” We rarely regret what we do. We mostly regret the things we don’t do; especially the ones we are scared to do.

On our path of life, growth, and success, we all encounter failure. Some of the most successful people who have ever walked the planet have failed miserably, publicly, and in ways that many of us would not be able to recover from.
What if we actually appreciated failing? Remember, appreciating something doesn’t necessarily mean we like or enjoy it. Appreciation means that we recognize the value of something and are grateful for it.

Things we can appreciate about failing:
- Failure often gives us important feedback about where we are
- Failure gives us contrast and can make success that much more meaningful
- Failure usually involves taking a risk, which is something we can acknowledge ourselves for and be proud of
- Failure is usually a great opportunity for learning, growth, and improvement
- Failure gives us an opportunity to love ourselves, even when we don’t do or get what we want

By learning to appreciate ourselves when we fail and appreciate the failure itself, we take our power back from situations, circumstances, and the opinions of other people in our lives. Our ability to appreciate failure, learn from it, and use it to our advantage, gives us an important insight into how to create success in a conscious and deliberate way. Appreciating failure is a key to success and fulfillment.

Change your perspective …

Make a list of some of the biggest failures in your life – things from the past or things that are currently happening. What can you appreciate about each of these failures? What did you learn? What feedback did you get? How did failing in this way enhance your life? If you look for it, you’ll be able to find many things to appreciate about your failures. Appreciating your failures will allow you alter your relationship to failing, let go of some of the fear you have about it, and ultimately create more success in your life!

TV In My Life..

The television today, seems to have engulfed - almost - all other activities. Lots have been said how TV has literally spoilt social life, book reading habit, playing outdoor games, visualizing capabilities, made us couch potatoes, given early age eye defects, awful thoughts - what not! And not to forget the oft cursed serials (or the soap operas). Though I find almost everyone swinging brickbats on them, the viewership has not diminished a bit.

If you are a regular "serial-watcher" (I am one of them,hehehe) and you missing a day watching it, you would still get the story, miss a week - no worries, skip a few months - you would still be able to decipher the plot! The soap directors think the audience are dunces and we, very earnestly, prove them right - don't we?Okay, enough of the brickbats - whatever said and done, the TV seems to be a very good companion - at times, the ONLY companion. I have had a stint with this kind of experience during my days away from home.

Though I had my roomies, having had to work on some stupid projects, loneliness was inevitable at times and loneliness to me - more than causing boredom and frustration - is haunting! And it was during these times that my friendly companion came to my rescue - who else? my little 14" Videocon TV. Believe it or not, I would just switch on the TV, tune into some song channel or to some insane soap and leave it as is and carry on with my brushing, attending nature's call, cooking, dressing, cleaning and so on - having just a faint idea as to what's going on the TV.And when I was even farther away from home, getting very little chance to rub shoulders with my native tongue or culture, TV again was my solace. Of course, there were other arenas too - like friends, internet, gazing around, roaming the city, getting to know the other culture, but still, during my times of solitude, I could rely on TV!







Even the most irritable song, a disgusting actor (name captain Vijaykanth), a lousy heroine (Shreya) all seem to have descended from heaven then. I am sure many folks who are staying/have stayed alone (especially the ones living abroad) would be able to relate to this state of mind.






Agreed TV has taken many a quality time but to me, many a time, it has helped me maintain my mental quality :-)