The art of waiting

Every day there is evidence that waiting has truly become an art form very few people can claim to practice. Waiting, once viewed as something you simply had to do without further discussion, is now on par with an offensive remark being made . ' What do you mean? Why does it take three days for a letter to get here in this day and age?' Stuck in a traffic jam and getting very annoyed indeed? Late for an important meeting or just inconvenienced?

Being told to have to wait can bring our the worst in people. Anger, annoyance, resentment, a feeling of restlessness...hang on...maybe there's a clue. Could it be that people who will not wait and cannot wait are really feeling uncomfortably restless? Like a smoker who has to wait for a cigarette until he gets off the plane? A little fidgety, a little anxious....after all, waiting means postponing that which we desire. And we are so terribly spoiled by modern technological advances above all that waiting has become a thing of the past. It begins with instant meals because there is no time to cook. Next, we download a whole music album in the space of time it takes to take the dog for a walk. Even books can be read online while scrolling down the pages.

Instant gratification. A growing belief that one must not be made to wait. Fast service, fast delivery, wife is out of the house, well, there is always instant adult entertainment. Personally, I don't mind waiting too much and I feel slightly irritated when people complain about being stuck in traffic jams or a bus which is 5 minutes late or about the supermarket checkouts and their bad management. Being stuck in a traffic jam is frustrating at times, but if you have enough petrol and your car is not overheating and nobody will die if you are late...what’s the big deal? Why has not having to wait become a right rather than just luck?


Waiting is a dying art form. Not only does it mean having to delay something, it also means having to fill the waiting time meaningfully. Which, seemingly, is the problem? What do we do with ourselves? We are always in the process of getting, becoming, going places, wanting the next thing before receiving the first that without any of these we are lost. What do we do with just ourselves and time to kill?


Why not view waiting as an opportunity to have time to spend instead of not letting go of that which we can't have right now. Previous generations were good at waiting. My grandparents and parents saved for years to be able to afford a good holiday or a new refrigerator. Imagine the difference between going on a long awaited holiday or one of many trips you take each year? There is a much bigger, more satisfying sense of occasion if one can say ' finally, the wait was well worth it yeh! Not being able to wait means missing out on opportunities because instead of working towards what we really want, we often take short cuts and second choice route just because we cannot and will not wait. Young people are especially affected by this form of thinking. The notion of having to study for a number of years at college or university ( 'I really want to be a doctor!') seems foreign and is often replaced with a short cut version. ('well, I suppose I could just work for one).


The art of waiting means being able to work towards a goal and realize that the reward at the end will be worth the wait. Being able to wait means being able to be patient and less demanding. There is certain arrogance in complaining about things like slow services or inefficient management...as if it were a basic human right to not have to wait for anything. When put on the spot, what is the worst thing that can happen if one has to wait?


Most used line by indians;

Kunjom neram wait panah settah poireveh? – Will you die if you wait for awhile?

At The Moment..

I have not posted for quite sometime due to my heavy workload. My job is a disaster & I am seriously into looking for another job. Reporting, SOP, KPI, Service Quality to name a few was the things I had been doing all the time. I feel that I gained valuable knowledge working on my own with minimum guidance, although some theoretical background knowledge (what I learned back in Univ) didn’t help me much. But the atmosphere is depressing. The people around me are sick & dumb. The system matches the brains of nattan’s in terms of the productivity & quality. Many times I have missed my breaks and eaten into my lunch time. But I get it done. That however is very seldom recognized nor appreciated by management.


Ever encountered someone who frustrates you so much that you feel like you want to pull your hair, jump around the room and just scream out loud? You're not alone. It seems like we never have enough time to do what we want, or need to get done. It seems like we are always getting sidetracked with something else coming up, and the to-do list at the end of the day is as long as it was at the start of the day. It isn't that we can't get anything done; it just seems as if the to-do list keeps growing during the day. As one thing gets done, a new task seems to pop up.

Over the years, I've encountered my fair share of difficult people. People who don't turn their work in as promised, people who don't show up for meetings, people who stick vehemently to their views and refuse to collaborate, people who push back on work that they're responsible for - and more.


Having said that, years ago, I used to get bothered and worked up over such situations. I'd think,

• "Why are these people being so difficult?"




• "These people are so irresponsible!"




• "Just my luck to work with them!"




• "I don't ever want to work with these people again!"
  
  

After a while, I learned that these people are everywhere. No matter where you go, you can never hide from them. Sure, it might be possible to avoid the 1st one or two difficult people, but how about the 3rd, 5th, 10th person you encounter? Hiding isn't a permanent solution. What's more, in the context of work, it's usually difficult to avoid or hide from someone, unless you quit from a job totally. Well - I don't know about you, but it doesn't seem feasible to quit every time someone has an opposing view or is being difficult.

So rather than turn to some drastic decisions each time, I have tried to equip myself with the skills to deal with them including planning my day (time management), think realistic, take deep breaths & whatever not in which end of the day, nothing seems to work out!!

Here's Nithz 9 tips which I've found to work in dealing with such people:

1.Never be calm?
Losing my temper and flaring out at the other person typically is the best way to get him/her to collaborate with myself in which I will start getting their attention.

2.Understand the person's intentions?
I'd like to believe that everyone is difficult for the sake of being difficult.

3.Let the person know where you are coming from.
One thing that has worked for me is to let the person know my intentions behind what I am doing.

4.Building a rapport?
Never in my life I want to build a so called ‘rapport’ with this borned to be dumb species.

5.Treat the person with respect?
Even if I treat them with respect or not, the outcome will still be the same. So, I rather treat them not fairly. As the golden rule says, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Nahhhhhhh..

6.Ignore!!
I have already tried everything above and the person is still not being receptive, the best way might be to just ignore. After all, i have already done all that I can within my means.

Try out these 9 tips for the difficult people you face at your workplace and see how they work out for you :)

Something that I would like to share with you on how I used to be & how I am now..
1) PAST : She's an aggressive go-getter.
PRESENT: She's a ball-busting b_tch.

2) PAST : Perhaps I can work late.
PRESENT : And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

3) PAST : I'm certain that isn't feasible.
PRESENT: No f______ way.

4) PAST : Perhaps you should check with...
PRESENT : Tell someone who gives a sh__.

5) PAST : I wasn't involved in the project.
PRESENT : It's not my f______ problem.

6) PAST : I'm not sure this can be implemented.
PRESENT : This sh__ won't work.

7) PAST : I'll try to schedule that.
PRESENT: Why the f____ didn't you tell me sooner?

8) PAST : Excuse me, sir?
PRESENT : Eat sh__ and die.

9) PAST : So you weren't happy with it?
PRESENT: Kiss my a__.

10) PAST : I love a challenge.
PRESENT : This job s_cks.

Bonus
11) PAST : You want me to take care of that?
PRESENT : Who the h_ck died and made you boss?

My humble advice for under graduates:-

For those who are dreaming to be on of the successful bankers in the future, kindly think twice. Life will then be a battle for you. Thank you for reading.

How to choose a bride, Malaysian style

A Mother was very concerned that her middle-aged son has not shownthe slightest indication of getting married. So one day she called himover to her house.The Son came home from work, grudgingly.

Upon arriving, he found that his mother had gathered a few beautiful ladies at the house for him to choose as his future bride.

The FIRST one was a well-endowed Telephonist-cum-Receptionist. He immediately commented: 'Aiyaa..... Mother, they always say..... PLEASE HOLD ON, HOLD ON.........'

The SECOND nominee was a leggy secretary. She was also rejected. Reason being: 'Aiyaa.... Mother, this one aaa..., Secretary always fond of saying 'PLEASE SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN........'

By this time, the mother is nearing frustration. She called a sweet but plain-looking Teacher. The Son suddenly agreed!!The Mother was surprised and asked: 'Why this one? The earlier two were a lot better looking!'He replied: 'Teachers aaa..... Teachers very good, very good, always say: PLEASE REPEAT, DO IT AGAIN, I want it done 10 times.... SOME MORE, SOME MORE.....!'

Her youngest son (10 years old), was listening quietly all this while at the other end of the room. Suddenly, he shouted: 'Brother..... Female mini bus Conductor much better laa.... they always say: 'NAIK CEPAT, NAIK CEPAT..... MASUK, MASUK...... MASUK LAGI, DALAM LAGI..... DALAM LAGI LAAAAH, MASUK BELAKANG..... BELAKANG LAGI, BELAKANG BANYAK KOSONG.....'

The mother fainted....

Terrorism Quiz

TERRORISM QUIZ :

1. Which is the only country in the world to have dropped bombs on over twenty different countries since 1945?




2. Which is the only country to have used nuclear weapons?




3. Which country was responsible for a car bomb which killed 80 civilians in Beirut in 1985, in a botched assassination attempt, thereby making it the most lethal terrorist bombing in modern Middle East history?




4. Which country's illegal bombing of Libya in 1986 was described by the UN Legal Committee as a "classic case" of terrorism?




5. Which country rejected the order of the International Court of Justice (ICJ) to terminate its "unlawful use of force" against Nicaragua in 1986, and then vetoed a UN Security Council resolution calling on all states to observe international law?




6. Which country was accused by a UN-sponsored truth commission of providing "direct and indirect support" for "acts of genocide" against the Mayan Indians in Guatemala during the 1980s?




7. Which country unilaterally withdrew from the Anti-Ballistic Missile (ABM) Treaty in December 2001?




8. Which country renounced the efforts to negotiate a verification process for the Biological Weapons Convention and brought an international conference on the matter to a halt in July 2001?




9. Which country prevented the United Nations from curbing the gun trade at a small arms conference in July 2001?




10. Aside from Somalia, which is the only other country in the world to have refused to ratify the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child?




11. Which is the only Western country which allows the death penalty to be applied to children?




12. Which is the only G7 country to have refused to sign the 1997 Mine Ban Treaty, forbidding the use of landmines?




13. Which is the only G7 country to have voted against the creation of the International Criminal Court (ICC) in 1998?




14. Which was the only other country to join with Israel in opposing a 1987 General Assembly resolution condemning international terrorism?




15. Which country refuses to fully pay its debts to the United Nations yet reserves its right to veto United Nations resolutions?
    

Answer :

United States of America

My true friends are Back In Action!!

The one relationship considered as most chaste, true & fulfilling is that of friendship. It adds meaning & fun in life as sharing of feelings with friends helps in multiplying of laughter & sharing of sorrows. There are so many things that one can share with friends which we generally hesitates to share with anyone. Thus, having two friends adds value & meaning to life.

Living or non-living, they become our constant companions, who touch our life in a special way and get the right to peep into our secrets. But of course, when we talk about friends we generally picture a person. No matter how much we try to explain the value of a friend in our life, it’s always less. We may exaggerate at times that we can face life unaided but then we are not aware of the extent of torture we will go through while trekking our way through the rocks of life all alone. A friend makes the task a lot easier even if not smoother. Many a times we fail to live up to the expectations of our well wishers because they want us to act in a certain manner but friends are the only well wishers who don’t ridicule or question our actions but understands us and give us scope to be ourselves. Friends play a crucial role when we are going through the process of finding our own identity. As humans we seek an emotional support. Even a vindictive criminal needs a friend to make sure he’s not alone.






Today, I am not going to talk about the importance of friendship, etc. Without much dragging, I would like to touch some people who made a big impact in my life (who had returned back here & with me now); someone who played a huge role in molding what I am now. I am not saying that my parents weren’t supportive or helpful in my life. But when you are getting older, there’s some issues which you prefer to discuss with your friends rather than with your family members. As such, I am grateful to God for bringing me such a wonderful people to share during the process of finding our own identity. Below I would like to list a few people that I wish I can spend more time like how we used to be earlier.








Nirmala & Vani


I got to know these girls since Form 1 however we were in a different class. To tell you the truth, these 2 girls were among the only Indian girls that I used to talk & mix around. I was at some time categorized as ‘Anti Indian’ by some Indian community in the school when I tend to talk/mix with Chinese students more. I wasn’t a favorite among Indians although I happened to be the best Indian girl student. Egoistic, stubborn, eksyen, perasan, nenapu were among the words that they used to label me in school. I can’t blame them as I was too much mixing around with Chinese students (I could speak good Cantonese at that time & I was the only Indian girl in the class), be it from eating with them during recess time till going out for an outing. Now, come back to the topic. Nirmala being my ‘periya akka’ & Vani is being called as ‘loose’. I will never forget my first outing with Indian friends (which was surprisingly with them) to watch Alaipayudhey movie in GSC Mid Valley back in year 2000 when I was 17 years old!!!





Nirmala was closer to me as her home is only 300m away from my home & we both used to go to each other’s house more often. Meanwhile, Vani was staying about 1-2km from us. I had a good time with both of them even after school days. I even can’t forget Nirmala as she will do everything from organizing outing till buying food for me while I was studying in University (she was working that time & used to tell me that I can always treat her when I have got a job after completing my studies). Things went well & Vani flied to Australia meanwhile Nirmala flied to United Kingdom to continue her studies. And I was studying in a local University (sad oh sad). I managed to complete my studies with flying colors in 3 years & got a good job.




After 5 years, Nirmala just came back (Vani still in Australia, no idea when is she returning) & we had a good time going out together with my family members & not to forget with Y. Hope things will be back on track as she was having some difficulties after returning here (allergies, skin rashes, vomiting, unable to take the hot weather, bla bla). Looking forward for more outings with her!!




Edmund

My advisor, friend, counselor, godfather & any relationship that can be best described when it comes to friendship. He was 5-6 years elderer to me but still he never failed to place himself as someone at my age. He is the first guy that I met who asked me to change my appearance from a conventional look Indian girl to a modern look girl(not bitchy type of look lah of coz). He often advice me the types of shirt, shoes, skirt, make up’s which best suits me. You won’t believe that I changed my hairstyle, my clothing’s & even started to apply make up whenever I go out after listening to his advices. One of the best people that I have met in my life & he will never fail to listen to my problems that I was going through. A person that I can never WIN by talking to him.

Logic, rational & amazing thinker. He used to pick me up from the house I was staying with my friend’s while studying in Univ early in the morning, go for breakfast, chit chat & will drop me off before he goes to work. I love spending my time with him as his maturity shows a person who knows everything. Just give him any topic & he will answer the questions well. He’s married now & his wife had just delivered to a baby girl (She is 73 days old TODAY). Not to forget, he has 2 beautiful babies, Xena (Rootweller) & Kiara (German Shepherd).

I did a mistake(I must blame on my ego) a year ago in which we had stopped talking with each other until 1 day I decided to text him through MSN. He was as humble as he is & never scold/blamed me for any reason. I was touched when he mentioned “You will always be my friend & I will never forget the days we used to hang out. No matter what, you can always trust me”.

Vicky

Better known as my best buddy. The first thing people will ask us when they see both of us are:-

• Are you guys lovers?


• Jovial & happy go lucky all the time. Don’t you guys have problems in life? (duh’


• Hardworking, punctual & are great jokers


• Tall & well dressed


• Doesn’t ask question much in class but scores well in exam

I would say he’s another gift from God for bringing him in to my life. A guy with no bad habits – NO alcohols, NO smoking, NO clubbing & NO flirting with girls. We knew each other since Form 6 (different class) & we bumped into each other when we got the same course in one of the University. We were together with our group of friends for the first 2 semesters until he found his lady love while studying. Then, we only talk whenever time permits or whenever we met in class. Things changed after a year plus when his lady love dumped him for another rich guy. I came into to his life again when his studies were badly affected due his love life. So called an angel to rescue a guy from falling, I was there for him whenever he needs a friend to share his feelings, to help him with studies, assignments & even to share the pain and tears he was going through. It was his first love, a pure & sincere one which was not appreciated by the girl that he has loved so much in his life.

We used to hang out a lot after that & became very close. We graduated together & his aspiration to become an ASP was turned down by some doink Malay officer’s during his interview. Currently he’s working in an oil & petroleum company in Miri wearing those yellow color Digi costumes with safety helmet. He’s scheduled to join another company in Brunei under the same industry in Nov09. Not interested with any relationship for the time being as he is too busy saving money for his future. Wakakaakaka. Miss him a lot & he promised to give me a BIG treat in one of the 5 star hotel in KL once he’s back to hometown for leave.

And guess what? He’s back for leave & I am eagerly waiting to see him!!


Friends are like an escape or a diversion from the stress that the superficial life of today imposes upon us. Nowadays we would hardly notice two people sitting together and enjoying nature or crying their hearts off but we would find a group of people enjoying together by a river shore or in a cafe.

May be ‘friend’ and ‘friendship’ are the same terms they were three to four decades ago, may be they haven’t still changed their meaning but the people’s approach to these two terms have really tainted in the course of time. Individuality is at its peak and in this epoch we can’t expect people to revere and love these two words as they did earlier. Of course, there are rare cases of good friendships even today but I think people have really lost track of the word ‘friend’. Now and then an associate is termed as a ‘friend’ and a ‘friend’ as an associate. So, we can deduce in general sense that the word ’friend’ has lost its specialty.

And i am lucky to have such wonderful people around me.. (to be continued..)