Living or non-living, they become our constant companions, who touch our life in a special way and get the right to peep into our secrets. But of course, when we talk about friends we generally picture a person. No matter how much we try to explain the value of a friend in our life, it’s always less. We may exaggerate at times that we can face life unaided but then we are not aware of the extent of torture we will go through while trekking our way through the rocks of life all alone. A friend makes the task a lot easier even if not smoother. Many a times we fail to live up to the expectations of our well wishers because they want us to act in a certain manner but friends are the only well wishers who don’t ridicule or question our actions but understands us and give us scope to be ourselves. Friends play a crucial role when we are going through the process of finding our own identity. As humans we seek an emotional support. Even a vindictive criminal needs a friend to make sure he’s not alone.
Today, I am not going to talk about the importance of friendship, etc. Without much dragging, I would like to touch some people who made a big impact in my life (who had returned back here & with me now); someone who played a huge role in molding what I am now. I am not saying that my parents weren’t supportive or helpful in my life. But when you are getting older, there’s some issues which you prefer to discuss with your friends rather than with your family members. As such, I am grateful to God for bringing me such a wonderful people to share during the process of finding our own identity. Below I would like to list a few people that I wish I can spend more time like how we used to be earlier.
Nirmala & Vani
I got to know these girls since Form 1 however we were in a different class. To tell you the truth, these 2 girls were among the only Indian girls that I used to talk & mix around. I was at some time categorized as ‘Anti Indian’ by some Indian community in the school when I tend to talk/mix with Chinese students more. I wasn’t a favorite among Indians although I happened to be the best Indian girl student. Egoistic, stubborn, eksyen, perasan, nenapu were among the words that they used to label me in school. I can’t blame them as I was too much mixing around with Chinese students (I could speak good Cantonese at that time & I was the only Indian girl in the class), be it from eating with them during recess time till going out for an outing. Now, come back to the topic. Nirmala being my ‘periya akka’ & Vani is being called as ‘loose’. I will never forget my first outing with Indian friends (which was surprisingly with them) to watch Alaipayudhey movie in GSC Mid Valley back in year 2000 when I was 17 years old!!!
Nirmala was closer to me as her home is only 300m away from my home & we both used to go to each other’s house more often. Meanwhile, Vani was staying about 1-2km from us. I had a good time with both of them even after school days. I even can’t forget Nirmala as she will do everything from organizing outing till buying food for me while I was studying in University (she was working that time & used to tell me that I can always treat her when I have got a job after completing my studies). Things went well & Vani flied to Australia meanwhile Nirmala flied to United Kingdom to continue her studies. And I was studying in a local University (sad oh sad). I managed to complete my studies with flying colors in 3 years & got a good job.
After 5 years, Nirmala just came back (Vani still in Australia, no idea when is she returning) & we had a good time going out together with my family members & not to forget with Y. Hope things will be back on track as she was having some difficulties after returning here (allergies, skin rashes, vomiting, unable to take the hot weather, bla bla). Looking forward for more outings with her!!
My advisor, friend, counselor, godfather & any relationship that can be best described when it comes to friendship. He was 5-6 years elderer to me but still he never failed to place himself as someone at my age. He is the first guy that I met who asked me to change my appearance from a conventional look Indian girl to a modern look girl(not bitchy type of look lah of coz). He often advice me the types of shirt, shoes, skirt, make up’s which best suits me. You won’t believe that I changed my hairstyle, my clothing’s & even started to apply make up whenever I go out after listening to his advices. One of the best people that I have met in my life & he will never fail to listen to my problems that I was going through. A person that I can never WIN by talking to him.
Logic, rational & amazing thinker. He used to pick me up from the house I was staying with my friend’s while studying in Univ early in the morning, go for breakfast, chit chat & will drop me off before he goes to work. I love spending my time with him as his maturity shows a person who knows everything. Just give him any topic & he will answer the questions well. He’s married now & his wife had just delivered to a baby girl (She is 73 days old TODAY). Not to forget, he has 2 beautiful babies, Xena (Rootweller) & Kiara (German Shepherd).
I did a mistake(I must blame on my ego) a year ago in which we had stopped talking with each other until 1 day I decided to text him through MSN. He was as humble as he is & never scold/blamed me for any reason. I was touched when he mentioned “You will always be my friend & I will never forget the days we used to hang out. No matter what, you can always trust me”.
Better known as my best buddy. The first thing people will ask us when they see both of us are:-
- Are you guys lovers?
- Jovial & happy go lucky all the time. Don’t you guys have problems in life? (duh’
- Hardworking, punctual & are great jokers
- Tall & well dressed
- Doesn’t ask question much in class but scores well in exam
I would say he’s another gift from God for bringing him in to my life. A guy with no bad habits – NO alcohols, NO smoking, NO clubbing & NO flirting with girls. We knew each other since Form 6 (different class) & we bumped into each other when we got the same course in one of the University. We were together with our group of friends for the first 2 semesters until he found his lady love while studying. Then, we only talk whenever time permits or whenever we met in class. Things changed after a year plus when his lady love dumped him for another rich guy. I came into to his life again when his studies were badly affected due his love life. So called an angel to rescue a guy from falling, I was there for him whenever he needs a friend to share his feelings, to help him with studies, assignments & even to share the pain and tears he was going through. It was his first love, a pure & sincere one which was not appreciated by the girl that he has loved so much in his life.
We used to hang out a lot after that & became very close. We graduated together & his aspiration to become an ASP was turned down by some doink Malay officer’s during his interview. Currently he’s working in an oil & petroleum company in Miri wearing those yellow color Digi costumes with safety helmet. He’s scheduled to join another company in Brunei under the same industry in Nov09. Not interested with any relationship for the time being as he is too busy saving money for his future. Wakakaakaka. Miss him a lot & he promised to give me a BIG treat in one of the 5 star hotel in KL once he’s back to hometown for leave.
And guess what? He’s back for leave & I am eagerly waiting to see him!!
Friends are like an escape or a diversion from the stress that the superficial life of today imposes upon us. Nowadays we would hardly notice two people sitting together and enjoying nature or crying their hearts off but we would find a group of people enjoying together by a river shore or in a cafe.
May be ‘friend’ and ‘friendship’ are the same terms they were three to four decades ago, may be they haven’t still changed their meaning but the people’s approach to these two terms have really tainted in the course of time. Individuality is at its peak and in this epoch we can’t expect people to revere and love these two words as they did earlier. Of course, there are rare cases of good friendships even today but I think people have really lost track of the word ‘friend’. Now and then an associate is termed as a ‘friend’ and a ‘friend’ as an associate. So, we can deduce in general sense that the word ’friend’ has lost its specialty.
And i am lucky to have such wonderful people around me.. (to be continued..)