~Flirting VS Cheating~

I constantly struggle with the definitions of 'Flirting' and 'Cheating' because there seems to be such a fine line between the two. I often find myself pondering over these questions - Is flirting really just another word for cheating? Now it’s so common to see both sex/genders cheating each other by using the name of Love. End of the day, one of them will just leave the opposite sex after getting what they want in life e.g money, property, accessories, sex or for the of time pass. Why is this happening anyway? Why do people have to cheat/flirt to get what they want? 

Can a person harmlessly flirt with someone of the opposite sex without cheating on his/her partner? Do the rules change if you're married v/s when you were just dating someone?

The first thing that I did to try and end the confusion once and for all was to look up the meaning of flirting. Interestingly, I found two definitions, which seem to be contrary to one another. The first definition said; flirting is ''to behave tenderly without serious intention, to show superficial or casual interest.'' The other definition was, ''playful conduct intended to arouse sexual interest.''

Personally, I didn't have a problem with the first definition. After all, all of us are known to behave in a friendly manner with people of the opposite sex without having any serious intentions. So if that is flirting, well… it isn't cheating. However, the second definition really fuelled a fire in my mind. Any kind of behavior (playful or otherwise) that is indulged in to arouse sexual interest; well… that is definitely cheating in my book!

 

Conversation during cheating:-

 

Machan : Sayang, yenaku ni na rombe uyir da…

Girl: Me too sayang. I love you a lot da..Ningeh tha yenaku yelameh..

Machan : Apdi ni soldrethu unmaiya iruntha..na onnu kephen, taruviya?

Girl : Soluda sayang, ni yena venalum na kudekeh tayarah iruken..Ningeh keteh RM2000 tha aniki ungeh account leh bank in panitheneh..vereh yena venum? Solungeh..

Machan : Love you da..Hmmm..Yenaku ni tha venum. Mulusa venum, taruviya? Yenode gf kudeh yenaku nimadhi yeh ileh. Yepo parhu sandeh tha, yen valkai yeh pochi..

Girl : Unakageh na yenaiyeh yelekeh na tayaru da..

(Guy started to arouse the girl & jeng jeng jeng Girl jadi mangsa)

After 2 days;

Girl : Sayang, why da you avoiding me? Did I do anything wrong?

Machan : Tho parhu, unakum yenakum yenteh relationship vum ileh. Stop calling me.

Girl : Apo aniki nambe rendu perum sernthu…

Machan : Adhu nambe jalli & happy ah irunthum, so athodeh mudinchi..Inimeleh ni yaro nan yaroo..

Then the normal tamil cinema dialog will come, idhu kethu kethu pulichi pochi..shabaaaaaaaaa..

  The way I see it, as long as you're not emotionally involved, it is possible to indulge in harmless flirting. Here are some differences between flirting and cheating:

·         If you're comfortable teasing or playfully bantering with another person in front of your partner and your partner is comfortable too, then it is harmless flirting. However, if you feel the need to hide your actions from your partner, then you are emotionally involved on some level and that is cheating.

·         If your playful innuendos are not sexual in nature, then it's flirting. But, if the person you're supposedly flirting with gets the wrong signals from your actions, then you have crossed the line into cheating.

·         If you flirt with someone and that person starts calling you at home or tries to meet you often, then you may have unknowingly crossed the line. If your flirting partner starts to develop an emotional bond towards you, then you have gone too far. Even if nothing physical may have happened, emotional infidelity amounts to cheating too.

Flirting v/s cheating is definitely not a clear cut or black and white issue. There are many shades of grey here. What one partner may see as harmless flirting may be considered as cheating by the other partner. So, to ensure that your relationship does not suffer from the issue of flirting, it is best to talk to your partner so that you both are on the same page as far as flirting and cheating go. It is when partners have a different sense of the terms that problems occur – Sandeh sandeh sandehhhhh !!~